May be you wanted to feel more important and therefore you lied so that you will get the attention you did not receive. Do you recall your parents neglecting you in any way? Or may be, were you jealous of other kids/your sister?

You did those sexual things as a kid because you did not know what is it that you're exactly doing. But it just felt good anyway...you are ashamed of what you have done and you keep remembering them but are you aware that you were just a kid back then?

People often say that kids are supposed to be innocent, and i dont think you were not innocent just because you were exploring something that made you feel good. It was not right but you did not know that.

Hello and welcome to the forums! You might find the blogs don't get much responses, you might consider posting in one of the forums. I'm not sure which forum- you might find it better to break your story up into portions that will work in different forums, such as OCD, Remorse, etc- we don't allow duplicate topics in multiple forums, but you might address different issues in different forums, if you feel the need.

I will, thank you for your suggestion. I'm new to this site so this really helps a lot!

Very interesting, someone else just made a blog post similar to this- about maladaptive daydreaming gotten out of hand. Consider posting in Living With Mental Illness forum

The blogs are good for journalling... but not much on responses. Consider posting this in SPD forum. Welcome to PF!